ghosts

don't stop, not even for breath,

don't stop working, when confronted by death,

its just too important to live and be at peace,

Why should i when i work and find my release,

but society glares, and wants you back,

this 2 way road becomes a one way track,

determination is what the world needs,

but whats to be determined about when it falls on its knees,

lifes to short for not wanting to play,

stuck in loop that repeats day to day,

one more scribble and the sun starts to cry,

determined fire from an already waning sky

Edward Ramsden

A taste of my depression when i was a teenager

Dawn

Sun Rise Over Smoke Stacks In The West,

Clever Rhymes And Torrid Rivers That Twist With Words,

I Cant Remember Where They Lie,

Your Fire Kept Burning, As The Coal We Used To Gather, Warmth Was As Important As The Sun In This Facade.

The Cold Outside Our Cave Never Seemed So Bitter,

One Step, Two Step, Tripping Over Soft Snow,

But Finding Only Hard Brittle Ground Where Daisies Lay,

In Between Cracks They Smile With No Face,

A Pattern Of Incredible Situations Brave To None,

Sitting Brings Nothing, Gathering Decides Importance

While The Sun Hides In between Stars.

The Wind Dies Slowly..

With A Tear it leaves and i Wonder...

Where Is Dawn?

I think I can tell you I love you,

But not in the way you might think.

Like in the way that the sun loves the moon at night,

I simply love that you exist.

Like the universal love that's felt,

The moment when the equinox rises,

Your smile that lights up like an arcade machine

When its handing out unlimited prizes.

I love your persistence and musical talent,

That the ignorant overlook.

Like the sound of the wind as it moves over water,

Or the first words in a old dusty book.

I love the adventure that some quickly dismiss,

Over fear of a better world.

To love and embrace the worry unknowing

Till our flag can been unfurled. 

The depth of your friendship means more to me

Than I think you can ever know,

For few have come this close to me and chosen not to go.

So i'm sorry for the sad times, i assure are in decline.

Its finally time to shrug old habits and dust off this overgrown mind.

 through all of this I wanted to remind you,

That I love you my dearest friend.

Till time comes to part us with beautiful sorrow 

Then until we meet again.

My Childhood Dream

your body tense as you make that desperate struggle your dream

To spread your wings

To fly, to touch the face of god

To feel the wind in your hair

As u swoop among the clouds

Free at last

To have no worries

To care not what the day brings

But to enjoy life 4 what it is

Not what we want 2 b

To dream of a home

Where ever the wind takes u

To be independent

To live in the moment

To care not of family and friends

But of a warm tree on a secluded hill

This is my dream

 

 

Kara

Your Not The One I saw Before
The One With The Angels Smile
You Are The One Who Comes To Destroy
Everything Iv Tried Not To Defile
Your The one Who Spreads The Lies
And takes What Iv Grown To Love
Please Bring Back The One That Iv Learnt To Admire
Or Arrange My Bed Up Above
Why Do You Come To Spoil My Day
When Iv Got So Many Wonderfull Dreams
All You Can Do Is Laugh In My Face
And Watch As my Spirits Heart Bleeds
But Iv had Enuf This Time My Foe
And At Last I Take The Floor
Its Finally Time To Send You To Shoel
And Hear You Scream " PLEASE NO MORE"

There She Is the One I Love
As She Rises From Fallen Veins
To Heal My Heart And Sooth The Soul
And Make Everything Seem..... Ok

 

13/5/2001

When I was 15 I met this welsh girl from Carmarthen on the internet
Her name was Kara.

For a little while I though I had a crush on her.
Seems stupid but at that point it felt so strange to feel attracted to someone that I let myself get carried away.

Jamie

Hear I sit once more,

Alone in my dark flat,

Not a soul to speak to,

Not an god to pray to,

Just me and my thoughts,

Of past and present and of future life,

Of how I try and re-correct everything,

I fail,

For I know that Once A Ship Has Sailed,

It Shall No Longer Come to Port,

Lost in my mind,

Again another twisted reality,

Again another battered Heart,

I tried everything.,

Alas the Beating Body of the Soul Cannot Be Found,

No Remorse, No Forgiveness, No Release,

The past Gives Pain Not Pleasure,

If only there were Some Way to Take It Back,

Yet no…IM Stuck,

And With me lies The Pain of One Thousand heartaches,

IM Sorry. IM Sooo Sooo Sorry.

22/09/2004

Dict

My name is Dictionary boy,

I dont feel well.

I'm scared of things.

I'm afraid of making freinds.

I'm scared of being loved.

When some tell me I love too much.

Locked doors are ok with me.

Drinking doesnt help,

Cannabis does its job.

Pills are a stupid idea.

I worry about losing people a lot.

I lose a lot more people than I can worry about

I'm lonley when I'm with other people

Occasionaly I am happy,

But those moments are rare.

Some tell me I have to change,

Some tell me never change.

I say leave me be, but they never do.

 

My name is Dictionary boy

And I still dont feel well.

Why be me?

Everyone tells me,

Everything is all right.

Thats things will be fine

and will change over night.

Not one of them gets it,

Why should they so,

Their not in my prison,

With 10/20 to go.

I wont share my problems

You say there okay,

As if saying that makes a differance

or changes the way.

I feel on the inside,

Ill keep it locked up,

So you dont get the whole of me,

Just a small touch.

I hide from you because its a right decision

For no one wants to be alone

So when beautiful sadness is what makes up my heart.

Its one that you'll never know.

 

So everything is fine, I say to your ear but I've never hidden the truth

That just below this broken surface is something that hides from everyone, not just from you.

 

Edward Ramsden

 

 

This is my most recent poem and one that makes me sad, but its ok.
This is how I feel right now, I hope i can make something of it soon,

 

Its will always be ok,

New Generation no.14

The Words Stick Like Toffee in summer,
The telephone face Seems Tough to Turn as the Number You call Disappear,
With one tiny Click your back In the Room, but it’s strangely dissimilar now.
Something distorted The Moment You Were Away, So Subtle But ever So Loud.
A Shake of The Head And A Moment Free, Spent Wisely Just Wishing this wasnt to be.
Light Seems to want to run away, the shadows all promise to Hang around Smiling, Miserable, Murky Grey,
Lets Call this our winter,
The bitter frost makes for a perfect reflection of us.
I miss it, I will dream of it, and I won’t stop remembering it…
The graves we pass are instants we commit to memory.
Disparaged by the look away you seemed to look forward to.
Don’t look away any more,
The Need is no longer in attendance,
As bravery takes over and the world seems a scary limitless road.

New generation No 2

Its a road that seems to represent a hill in Time,
Steep Drop Highway without the Difficult Climb,
And Now the Dust Kicks Into Bitter Sunshine,
Holding Back Lyrical Emotions, Divided By an Almost Morbid Guideline.
You Know, I Can’t Remember Where I Was Before We Met?
Living For Small Moments of Clarity and Occasional Begging For Respect,
Like the Tree that grew from a burnt out seed, Or The Rose in Winter Trying To breath.
Every Moving Picture along the following months has been of you smiling,
Trying hard to stumble so I don’t miss any glimpse of your heart before it started dividing.
I've Camped 3 days and now the road seems to be wider,
I’m losing the comfort of the warmth I felt lying beside her.
And like my heart I decide to keep from breaking,
Give anything to stop this fragile soul for the future I have to start making.
And It’s a bitch trying to save,
From losing your grip and carving that stone over your grave

 

Edward Ramsden

 

25/2/2008

New generation no 1

Some times a loose collection of memories can find there similarities,
And recreate a moment of simple enchantment,
That moment when something you remember makes you want to smile,
But for some reason you resist.
When the four months to come are beginning to become sad,
Its journey twists and fills the holes, as if taking its time,
If only Time was never there to begin with.
A song that you heard a million times changes in your mind, to a orchestra that seems to play the most beautiful sound in the world, as if to mock the memories that lie deep within the almost childlike complications of the lyrics you love.
Every syllable turns into a tear that clings to your cheek,
Resisting being apart from its Brothers and sisters,
Who in reality are every dream thought and emotions you have ever felt.
I know if the truth becomes apparent them I wont be the person I was back then,
People will leave, people will stand by, but everyone will go eventually,
That’s just the way it is…….

 Edward Ramsden
19 October 2007

From the new generation

Have you ever felt the fall before the storm?
The gut wrenching feeling that everything’s wrong.
When time is its own leader and we can but follow,
Your saliva is thick and too much to swallow
Stopped in emotional lay-by with a one distant stare,
The obvious is obvious to those who aren’t there.
Every light we click seems to dim,
Mimicking the desire to jump ship and swim.
While the party persistent,
The ones who won’t leave,
Are scared of normality and having to breathe,
Were the lost in the gap
The hidden and discrete,
Scared of social interaction and the reality of become obsolete
Tucked away in our own decaying world,
A locked door for comfort and no one speaks a word.

 

23/2/2008

New Generation no -1

            Why do I push when my dream is to keep?

               Why cant I cure this insatialble sleep?

     Why cant I accept change and enjoy its suprise?

        Why keep searching for where the answer lies?

     Why must my poems be formulaic in verse?

Why must I be a sickly man child, whos feels at his worst?

Why in my darkest moments, do I find blessed relief?

From hurting my surroundings with a faltering belief.

Why dont pills make the world make sense?

Its confusing and scary and never willing to relent.

Why must I love so?

When the pain is just too much?

 

Why is it that the cure to all my darkest woes, can only be found in your touch?

2/3/2008

Why Cant I Sleep

Kept insane by a voice that wills it so,

Keeping butterfly's ever ready to perform in a one man show,

Sleeping underneath the stars every night looking for a sign to keep moving,

Walking down the same deserted roads, in a mind that i keep losing.

Slow and steady wins the race, a extortionists battle in keeping faith.

Keep on crying hidden by the rain,

Keep on trying over and over again,

Stop and think, does the influence care,

Is Keeping Trying More Emotional Baggage to wear,

Im soft and lonely just wanting some peace,

in a world with no borders, why cant i sleep

Edward Ramsden

Sunshine after the rain...

Sunshine after the rain...

Malleable, delectable and clouded with mystery,

Reminiscing about butterfly's, from the first time you kissed me,

In reality I'm just a puzzle that has no corners,

An incomplete mystery with nothing but broken borders.

How long must sitting be the answer?

Listening to the sound of clouds and swaying to the music of the moonlight dancer,

She keeps her rhythm and doesn't ask for anything,

Feeling compassion from the soul in everything,

I wake everyday in a bed dressed in everything I own,

Happy that life sometimes resembles a sinking stone,

No air, no resistance just darkness that comforts,

Dreaming screaming into a world of eternal sunsets.

Words become predictable in this facade we call a society,

Screaming from rooftops with articulate, drunken sobriety.

Were the next waves of the future of tomorrow?

Hoping to recreate a world we know wont become dead through bad choices, and extremities of sorrow.

Yet in the smoke and debris sits the answer we miss,

And not far lies a boy who dreams of her kiss.

E.M.R

X

The Death and Return of Dictionary Boy

He exists purely, to make others believe,

In what... he is not sure, but he feels his mission is right.

He knows what's to come, he wrote the next page,

He's Seems to be weary but willing to succumb to fate,

After all this time his capability to write has finally gone.

Nothing exists for him anymore.

He walks to the sea and stares for 3 days,

Till that last of the memories that keep his soul smile and walk away.

He Sits In the Sand on Fair Calabrian Shore,

Hoping for a sign that there will be one more,

He has composed his last work made up from newspaper clippings and old recycled poems,

Clenched tight in his hand an un opened letter the world that no one has known,

He drifts now alone, Through the Sea And Current Wind,

Watching The Destruction Of Dictionary Boy Begin 

Then with a final smile lets the water take his life,

Floating Through the ocean like butter Through A Knife.

As he Disappears And The Salt Dissolves,

The Letter he held becomes Sodden and old,

He finished the last verse with something quite odd,

About heaven, about hell and to wonder about god,

And with a final note says how much he's had fun,

And how he wishes that the hero didn't die in this one.

Edward Ramsden

Dedicated to Tilly.

You might hate me but Ill never hate you.

I miss you sometimes.

Winay Trato

She Kept the gate open,

its squeak kept her alert,

she dances round the kitchen twice,

until her ankles hurt.

She Kept an old  photo,

its corners turning brown.

she sits and watches the fire place,

an elegant carpeted ground.

She kept the tears

they wouldn't leave,

she kept the letter,

they helped her grieve.

She kept hoping,

for him to return,

She Kept Wishing

Shell never learn.

                                                                    Edward ramsden

To An Empty World and The Girl I Loved

There's no one left to wander here,

My words just gather dust,

Etched in black and white for ever,

Instilled with loving trust,

That I gave to her with out condition,

While Knowing in my heart,

That words can teach, inspire and love.

But never stop us being apart.

Its been so long i cant describe,

How these words have left my mind,

With reckless abandon i forgot their power,

and left them all behind.

Then out of nowhere she spoke to me,

Words I had once forgot,

That affection, affliction and once waxing passion,

Seem nothing to times vacant lot.

I wish with all strength that fate was much kinder,

And id have my chance to say,

I wanted to kiss my desire onto the face of my love,

and make all the sadness go away.

I once loved a girl who i'd never met,

And over time she quickly grew up,

To be the beautiful person i loved for so long,

and i missed my chance. Just my luck.

We will always have the Love Boat and the beautiful time when we were together.

We Stood for everyone who ever loved someone that they could never have.

The Ghost of my Muse

Do you ever contemplate of me, when you are alone?....

Do you select to think of me, over thoughts closer to home?....

Do you ever wonder how my embrace would linger on your lips?....

Do you ever pretend that we once shared, loves exciting kiss?....

Could you ever really love me? I understand why not!....

Do you ever want me? When I am often forgot.....

Every answer is a negative, I am juxtapose....

Who loves you from his head to frozen hobbit toes?....

Who does think of you taste when you are not around?....

Who wonders if the key to your soul might be found....

Who knows that love between us, won't even exist in myth.....

Who knows you love another who will never appreciate your gift.....

So who watches you from afar and loves you more that words....

Who can tell his story of plight, not even to the birds?....

Edward Ramsden

Keep moving forward Ed, Keep moving forward.

Dictionary boy 3 My final stand

GET UP NOW!....

Dust yourself off dictionary boy.....

Get the sand from your hair and the water off your chest.....

Your pages are hard to read and they no longer make sense.....

You're scripts in ink that's no longer spoken....

Those who loved you have all gone.....

It's cold and alone and you miss everyone behind you,....

You keep replaying the same moments in your head,....

Unable to change a thing!....

But you're a new generation dictionary boy!....

Newly Reborn like every who,....

You never once knew how to be truly happy yourself,....

You always tried to make people happier.....

We can tell in your eyes you won't change these facts.....

Are we doomed dictionary boy?....

Did we wake just to desire sleep again?....

If everyone you ever loved was here right now, would it make you happy?....

Or would you turn straight around and walk back into the sea?....

The same sea that claimed so much of your spirit and hope,....

Take heed Dictionary boy, this world is not meant for you.....

It is meant for the talented and the brave,....

For the loved and the loving,....

For the given and the giving.....

This world is not intended for an old book that no one can read.....

So take heed dictionary boy,....

One footnote at a time,....

For those those you love will never love you back,....

You're an old novel, born a thousand years late,....

To a world that never really cared.

Keep trying dictionary boy, Keep trying for us!

Your Something

• I wanted to write you something,....

  To make you feel unique,....

  To show you exactly how you improve the world.....

  Every time you speak.....

  I know now that I don't need to write,....

  You know how good you are,....

  You're aware of your beauty and what you want in life,....

  Exactly where to travel and how far.....

  I was under the false impression that I had helped you out a bit.....

  But be honest I've done nil.....

  If I left I would be replaced instantly.....

  No hole from me to fill.....

  You know you're awesome, you know you're great.....

  I don't need to inflate your ego.....

  How stupid I feel for attempting to help you,....

  When you obviously already know.....

  I wish you could have told me, how useless I have been.....

  And now I hang my head.....

  Why give it to someone as perfect as you....

  And replace someone who needs it instead.....

  
  

  Edward Ramsden

  
  

  This one is sad, there is nothing more to say than its Sad.

  It Probably speaks more to me nowadays then ever before.

Who are you? Do you even know?

Who are you to stop my chest,

Mid beat and with one breath left.

Who are you to feel bereft

When my loves intention can scare off death.

Who are you to make sun shine,

Who am I to fall behind,

To fall in love and then unwind,

With solutions and confusions bound to Bind.

Who are you to be in my reach.

Of every wall but the one love breached

To lose my throne and be beseech-ed,

While I kiss the ground beneath your feet.

Who are you to feel contempt.

Expressions as pointless as the liar intent.

To guard you from hurt is the hero lament.

When all seems lost and hope is spent.

Who are you to live alone,

Wishes telling you to come back home.

Chances are I wont sit by your throne.

What heroes and jesters can call there own.

Instead Ill love you from the poor side of town.

Where riches are fiction and Love can be found,

Where money is second to the power of the renown

And I can love you forever without making a sound.

Edward Ramsden

I like this poem, Don't tell anyone though.

They will all just think i'm arrogant and up myself.

The friends guide to my heart.

Paths twixt and twain.

keeping me light footed.

keeps me light headed and often confused

Drifting from my head to my body in rhythmic patterns

So common I see patterns that create beautiful sadness

A tapestry of past mistakes forming walls I have yet to climb.

Invisible to all but a free and rampant as is ghost of the wind.

I make my own bed and cannot lie in it,

I create my own reality but want not to live in it.

Is it odd that something so common can become unknown

A bizarre amnesia with little chance for recourse or re correction.

I suppose I should get used to it, but whats normal anymore?

Edward Ramsden 

 I guess its all just a waiting game.

But not even I know who will win.

Tried to do something different with my font but it only highlights areas of the poem that I don't think are very good,

Pawn and queen

I love it when we walk and talk, just us two and the world,

I tried to make you feel special and unique but on ground find fallen words.

Everyone is in love with you and with this I realize truth,

You’re special to absolutely everyone… But I’m not special to you.

There is nothing I could do for you, which others wouldn't do.

From adventuring often to sharing music, on whatever path you choose.

I wish there was just one thing to make me special, to make me something worthwhile,

But it’s a pipe dream of unimaginative lengths, just like my broken smile.

You’re lucky that your special and that makes you one of a kind.

Trying to find someone that compares to you is like the blind leading the blind.

So here we are in Check again, you are and will always be queen.

To move every space with little regard, for the pawn that could have been.

Thanks for the moments when I felt king; each movement was worth its score.

Alas now the queen needs no one’s help, the king becomes pawn once more.

He’ll walk himself off of the board and smile that at least you’re you.

Until at least someone special arrives, to make this story true.

So we twist and we turn and make each move with abandon left to chance.

I hope one day this pawn will become king and we can be friends at last and dance.

Edward Ramsden

26/2/13

This is the worst poem I've ever written. It is self indulgent and arrogant.

I cant fucking believe that I gave this to someone.

What the fuck was I thinking? Maybe I can get it back somehow.

Brief moment of thought

I chose not to venture on,

A walk that will not be tread.

With the whisper of wind, so cutting it hurts,

Keeps company of the dead.

Anon

Maybe more of these, seems short bursts give people less to talk about or maybe they spend so long trying to interpret it that they forget the original message

Yes more of these in the future. 

I'm your Villain

You must be joking,....

Your lips look sweet....

As imagining can be when we don't meet.....

You make electric surge,....

Through my lower intestines,....

Butterflies supposed but with painful intentions.....

Capturing your voice,....

I try to forget,....

Nothing but love and occasional fret....

As useless as wishes ....

As dirty as glass,....

fighting for stability in an invisible cast.....

I wish I could say it....

I love you it seems.....

Alas Villains never win and are not allowed to dream.....

Edward Ramsden

I miss the days when i could share my poetry with the world

Those days have long gone and I shall forever write in electric type.

Behind a wall of someone else's name.

To a soul that will never respond.

They call her....

They call her ...

But what’s in a name?

She’s a reason to smile

When drenched through with rain.

No call for frowns or carnival clowns

Her voice inspires every smile in town.

We walk amongs't forests till the dawn becomes real.

Sun Rising over lakes and lush grassy fields

Till we close our eyes and allow ourselves sleep. 

Hoping through slumber to dream something as sweet.

Edward Ramsden

Please don't judge this. I know it sounds like a 4 year old but sometimes that the way I feel inside.

Sometimes that's who I am inside.