How did it ever come to this.

 

How did it ever come to this?

The emptyness in my stomoch, makes me scared and sick.

Where once in my heart, was a feild where roses would bloom.

Now a carpet lies soft orange embers, rough, jagged and ruin.

In between cracks, I find no comfort in old messages and broken promises.

Between waves of medication I experience moments of pure clarity,

Perfect vision and understanding of my current conditon.

As Each wave ends and a new begins,

I am certain I know how to save you.

Thi is the place where I am brave without having to think.

Alas, like the missing minute at midnight,

All my progress is quickly stolen from me between dreams

Dreams that dont come easily, Fighting my grasp as I try to contain my insomnia

Fate does not seem to matter anymore, neither does coincedence.

We are all just a cluster of atoms, trying desperatly to understand itself.

The line between what we see and what we feel is blurred,

Yet it seems warm and inviting.

Like a loved one taking you in from the cold.

Im reality I'm sad that I've lost a freind.

Sadder I opened myself up to get hurt again.

How did it ever come to this?

The emptyness in my stomoch, still makes me scared and sick.

When once in my heart, was a feild where roses would bloom.

Now a carpet lies soft, orange embers,

Around a gate thats now forever closed to you.

 

 

 

Edward Ramsden

2/05/2013

Your camera

 

You picture's are sepia stained

Born though a unatural desire to obtain every beautiful moment for yourself

Keeping them stored through digital magic

Time stamps over images you felt nothing snatching from me.

Your names embossed over a memory you will not bother to keep inside your head

So many people, thrown, already overwritten in you mind

Done, rewoud and ready to over expose on the next unwary subject.

You'll never know your what your camera took from me.

Empty pages where future possibilies once lay.

Freinds forgotten for the sake of breaking a heart for pleasure.

Love denied where real love lies, all for the sake of an easier ride.

Torn pictures lay in your wake, you seldom stop to pick up the peices you scatter.

Instead you make plans to destroy the images of the ones who threaten your progress.

You post your adventures and mock us with what once belonged to we.

Making sure to smooth out personal wrinkles that weigh you down.

Your camera stole my a large part of my comfort and a small part of my humanity.

Making me distrust the lens glare from your eyes and the subtitles you spew

Targeted to inflict deep bones and open wounds, designed to simply ease the pain.

When the dark room is empty and no one is left to look at your pictures.

Who will you be then?

 

 

Edward Ramsden

 

10/2/2007

 

We who cant stand the sun

 

 

 

I omit my graze, from where the sun shine reflects,

Keeping equal footing between each pacing step.

Desperate to get back to the comfort of the shade

Familar and warm, with little space for social demands.

Working hard to better myself for no one but me.

Keeping away from beutifuly lit, untouchables.

Each skill I aquire hopes to impress,

To move the branches of my tree and allow for a small shaft of sunlight

To illuminate my pride in the land where normally shadows lie.

Few notice and fewer keep focus

With turned heads and almost sorrowful sighs, the clouds return

Draggin you all into sharing my world

And you begin feel sorry for the poor boy, who could never stand the sun.

 

 

Edward Ramsden

 

20/04/2013

 

For the few that ran away when I became afraid,

I lay no blame on you

for only love and forgivness can exist in my world.

And you are always welcome 

Puddles

Here I go again.

Watching myself fall over you in front of you,

Desperate to cover the miriad of puddles, dead ahead.

Trying to save you from getting your feet wet,

Lifes terrain is random and jagged.

Littered with a million relfections of a beautiful blue sky.

All I see, is the rough brown horizen and your figure shinking.

I know why I still drop to my knees everytime you approach.

It's to save myself from having to spend the coming months,

Watching you go through the pain of drying all over again.

Id like to forgive myself and stand back up.

Then who would I be?

Giving up on the passion for love and freindship,

I use as scaffolding to keep my broken parts together.

That keeps me grounded in bitter tasting serendipity.

To become like you, willing to walk over someone to keep my feet dry.

My chest and body take longer to dry than your feet.

Yet I'll still be here to cover your path on your return.

I guess thats what makes me happy to be a puddle cover.

Smiling chin down in murky water, never seeing the full majesty of a baby blue sky

With my eyes fixed on the most beautful sunset and your figure as it shrinks.

Edward Ramsden

20/4/2013

Always giving, even when I have nothing left for myself.
I would rather the sadness be contained in my putrid vessel,
Than it ever afflict the ones I love.

Um, somethings going on.

I don't quite know how to tell you this,

I think I found god today.

I know what your thinking, religion or cult?

But in a completely different way.

Our god is no deity, created by faith.

A level 3 intelligence, a Omnipotent race.

A creator of life, on a much bigger scale,

He created our existence, with the ability to fail

He provided this planet and gave passive for life,

Watching Mountains persevere, through fire and ice. 

That we all have to power to become just like him.

Not through magic or the avoidance of sin.

Through the understanding that we, are all just ants on a hill

With unlimited potential for greatness, with a tendency to kill.

14 million other races, seems so far out of reach.

If we taught the whole planet, to stop preaching and teach.

He gave no rules, no directions to be.

Just a small chance of existence and let us be free,

There is no heaven, subsequently no hell.

Just one life to help the future become more than ourselves.

Some say religion is needed, some say it serves to teach.

God never wanted to segregate love, but let it spread it beyond our reach.

We can all become much more than ourselves,

Our arrogance holds us back.

Where love should be issued to so many in need,

Instead we choose to attack.

This race isn't over, but nothings for sure.

As we may destroy ourselves.

But if sanity wins and love is abundance.

Then maybe all will be well.

Edward Ramsden

18/04/13

Anybody Got Any tips on naming poems? Cause I'm stumped!

I invite shadows to lay where sun once stood

Yet I dont ask you to join me.

Your invisible facade intends to amuse

Only stands to vex and annoy me.

Your coat, two sided, with mistust I confide in.

Your happines was worth more than a million horizens

But when my face was the footing you needed to ascend 

You wrote epilouge endings, about moving on freinds

Leaving a part that no one else seems to miss.

Like holding a hand or sharing a kiss.

Your soo near the top but cant quite grab hold

Of the journeys finale, about to unfold.

Now shadows deny what other accept.

The cliches of life that you often wept.

You soon found a place for my brick in the wall,

Talented, giving, Handsom and tall

A freind with a benifit, a shadow cant provide.

Logic fails where emotions thrives.

Its so great you are happy

But I feel sad I'm no longer your thing.

As you dance out of shadows and into the sun light

A welcome the coming of spring

Edward Ramsden

16/04/2004

Great god this shit sucks.

The forgotten chapter of Dictionary boy

 

 

Were you scared your crop had failed,?

When i left open my door.

Did you have to leave so quickly?

I had nothing more to offer to you.

I failed to present to you my gift when you left.

My attempts were only left empty when your cart didnt return that night,

I had a plan to adorn your shoulders with lavender and gold,

To present a feast I worked years to afford.

You left me a note with the name of a town, written hastely on the back of a reciept.

Its all but faded today, but back then the paper still smelled of your perfume.

I had a small speech, written down in the back of my brain.

Devised from years of old poems and scrap book dreams.

My stomoch hurt,

Patiently waiting day by day with my eyes fixed on the crest of the old dirt road.

Nothing kicked the dust like it used to.

I waited for what seemed like 10 years.

My feast untouched, it became home for vermiculite and small insects.

My offerings still sat nearby incase she returned.

The speech has slowly left my cerebral cortex and all i can remember is the name of a town.

My muscles heavy with years of anxiety and ache with every small vibration.

What would she think of me now?

My clothes are all but strips of cloth held together with dust and salt,

From the small amount of pain I allowed to leave my quiet desperation.

Through silent crying and a moments of whispering your name.

I took me two years to reach you,

I gave up everything I had to own to get here.

Where are you?

This old hamlet looks dead.

I look through windows and peer over hedges.

I go over the name of the town in my head,

hoping I had made some mistake and I was in the wrong place.

Have you gone?

I find a small graveyard but cant find your name.

I slump behind a cold stone.

Thumping my fists into the ground with mercyless anger.

Something falls heavy to the ground.

An old dictionary, forgotten and abused.

Peering out a small scrap of paper, a torn recipt.

The smell of perfume snaps my synapses and shocks my body.

A small peice of my heart breaks.

My breathing stops and arrests my senses.

just enough to allow the cold to take the last of my warmth.

My last wish was for your harvest to bloom,

For your love to be shared by someone worthy.

With my final breath,

I hold onto a memory of when my door was still closed.

Of a time when you believed I could love you

When you still smiled at me and I knew I didnt have to pretend.

That i was a brave man.

But you loved me all the same.

 

   Edward Ramsden

34.2.10

 

The great thing about long poems is that not many people can be bothered to read the whole thing.

If they do, they more often than not disregard meaning and context.

Rendering the poem, in their eyes, just a nice poem about something sad.

This is a fantastic way of expressing myself without people who dont give a shit noticing.

 

This poem is really important to me

Your castle

Did you hear my castle fell,

from a tyrant and hero alike.

Each brick took away part of my small kingdom

Safe inside my walls I feared no evil.

To practise love and forgivness without the eyes of the world upon me.

To learn how to love without having to take the credit,

to learn how to give without ever recieving reward.

Loving more with every moment, until my castle fell.

Now you stand in my courtyard but see no love.

you see broken bricks and a scared man

With nothing to his name but the dreams on his back,

I think in that moment you decided that there was nothing here to take

With little disregard for your mess and trouble

You left without looking back, assured in your smugness that I now have even less.

My castle fallen, my walls are broke and that scared man still stands.

But my love and forgivness will always remain here.

Long after your walls fall.

 

Edward Ramsden

 

31/03/2013

A DEAD mans WALK

Oh our stories done?

before it begun?

A fun filled summer arrives without the sun.

No need to glance over your shoulder anymore,

I wont make this walk hard, because its always been yours.

No longer looking back, seem the best road ahead.

Why waste time with the ugly and dead.

This prison no longer the place of your rest,

Where we carry no prisoner to feel the bereft.

You always wanted what I couldn't afford,

A beautiful tree, in a midnight storm.

Oh the light up ahead seems warm and inviting

A much better reason to give up on fighting.

The doors are open but I wont follow you,

I wont make trouble for the beautiful youth.

Ill just keep walking and I've still got quite far.

Away from the talented and beautiful, just like you are

Ill stay up with you and make sure you're alright

If it wasn't as pointless as continuing this fight.

What you gain from our shared time,

Is nothing compared, To the talent and magnetism of the visually compared.

I'm not longer a part of your once exciting existence.

You shrug and say oh well, ill carry on and act like nothing happened.

Because I'm nothing alright and you remind me everyday,

When all my answers were just a walk away.

Edward Ramsden

Wrote this a long time ago

The beautiful and talent will always win over the ugly and unlovable.

I don't care what you beautiful people say, you don't know what its like to be ugly and have the whole world grimace at your attempts at making life or smiling.

Because all beautiful people are exactly the same, just with a different perfect facade.

Complain all you want, your beautiful...Smile!

Dont panic

I wish i could say sorry for the pain,

but you wont have to feel it much longer.

I'm nearing the end of this rope and its knotted,

Like every lump in my throat the moment it started.

Don't be sad for me, I'm fine cant you see.

Why worry, the world is bigger than me.

This note itself, wasn't intended to rhyme

But I lost everything I once called mine.

I know what you say, Everyone and everything is right here

If you stood in my head for 3 seconds, my reasons to you would be clear.

My last request will go unheard, so I wrote in a code no body will know

So after all this is over, you wont ever have to fear about me anymore.

No one ever really dies, I hear some are reborn.

To live my life over and never make friends.

So I can live alone and decide every day if I want to live or not.

You know what? I am sorry.

Sorry i couldn't be the person everyone thought I was inside.

I'm a coward and I had a promise i would make peoples lives better, not worse.

I lost my way and I hate the way I Turned out.

I tried to be a better person and am aware of unlucky some people are

Its another reason to go and let that luck and happiness fall onto someone who deserves it.

Ill make some changes and give what I can,

In the last week of living, I'll prove what I am.

The last gift of my life, is taking it away from everyone.

Thanks for the good times, although it might contradict the end result.

Just wanted you to know that I really did have fun.

Midnight madness

 

 

 

Shes lifes greatest secret,

Magic like we once dreamed of in books.

A freind like the one we always wanted growing up.

Shes the missing particle that completes our understanding of the universe.

Shes the most beauful word in any written language,

Understood by a few, but admired by all others.

Shes the pattern behind every beautiful compilation of pixels on a screen.

Shes the first song I hear and the last words to drift inti my head before I rest.

Shes a small moment between the wind and the rain.

When nature leaves you alone for a breif moment as if to say

"Hey, its ok for now. Just enjoy this chance of weightlessness"

Then plunges you back into streams of water that makes you feel alive.

If only for the moment.

Shes the rainbows end, A beautiful image

 just out of arms reach until she can dissapear

Reforming elsewhere to remove the sadness of others.

Shes lifes greatest secret and the world may not love her as well as it should,

Yet in a small part of the universe, on a rock that wont stop spinning,

Someone will always love her, maybe not in the way that he can ever admit.

But in a way that makes sure she is always loved and thought of.

Even if she never knows it.

 

 

Edward Ramsden

 

3/6/2004

 

Midnight madness, Years go

Run

 

 

Why cant i find my reason to run,

Why must i take part in this endless chase

Theres no finish line, just a differant stopping point for every person

Can i run a but further than you.

you stopped a few feet ago

and i'm not allowed to go back.

Why couldnt we have stopped together

and take on what lies beyond.

I hear its really nice to share with someone

the moment when your both ready to stop running

I know now that id never have to tell you the truth

That for me, stopping in the same place as someone as awesome as you

Is as scary as any nightmare, is more hopless that the sad mans dreams,

Is as unnatural to this world as all of the worldsd hate combined

I will never see the gardens with sun lit rose petals,

Ill never see the smile on your face when you reach real happiness.

Ill only see something I could never be,

Yet everyday I wish i could be.

The cause of your smile and never of your frown.

 

Edward Ramsden

 

21/03/13

 

"Its there written in the playground,

Loves kiss, hate or ignore"

Was it worth it?

Will 4 Months Be The Penultimate Final Stop?
Will every Repeat Read The Same?
Thanks And Goodbye, No Its Not Your Fault,
It’s Me Cant U see I’m Not Yours,
So Ill Walk Away so you can Joke,
And I Wont Be offended By Your Ridicule,
Save me The Tears, Force me The Fears
And Now I’m All Alone In silence,
Hearing Your Words Over And Over…
It’s Over, No More, The End.
Where Did All Decency Go,
Have No one The Compassion For A Viking Funeral,
The last Salute To The Unknown Soldier.
Ill Write Your Number Down And Hide It,
Delete Your Messages On My Phone And Keep The Ones in My head,
And Ill Accept Your Decision Because I Care.
But Inside Its Just Another Reason To Stop…

 

Edward Ramsden

 

For Robyn Fawthrope

Who stole my heart. 

 

11/04/2006

Return

Stars Shining in the Sky of Night
Old Sun Waxes No More On Fair Grass
That in the Winter Scored
From Green To Gold
The Leaves Transform Into Shadowed Memories Of Old
That from the Dawning Winter Pass
Will Bring New Life To Old Wounds
That in The night Glimmer With The Shape Of Seasons To Come.
Never More Seek To heal such wounds
I Speak Of Love Once More
Or Should Thou Say Pain Once More
For is only through Pain That We Make Sense Of Love
And Make Merry Of Its Joy
Only Do We So With The Sword
Of Pass Do we turn To Watch The Torrid River Run
And In Sky Once More We Watch Upon The Stars
And In Our Minds…We Dream Of Forgotten Past
To Sun Caress the Land And Destroy All Dreams Within
And Reality Faces The Last Stand Of Joy


Never To Be returned….

Edward Ramsden

7/12/2003

 

An attempts at nonscence poetry, Edward Lear inspired.

No Suprise

How could the world I’ve cherished so much,
Be ten feet underground,
I’m cold and alone with not so much as a smile,
No ones here to be found,
I stand alone on the edge of compassion,
In winds that don’t exist,
Staring at a grave so vast, that it steals your breath,
As it sparkles in the dusty mist,
Yesterday’s papers are the same as today,
Just nothing that you can do,
Except watch as they rot in the gutter of life,
Its heartbreaking I know but its true.
So we keep on looking for a world that isn’t there,
Hopeing for a sign of god
But this is the edge of compassion my friend,
And there’s nothing there….How Odd?

Edward Ramsden

7/2/05

 

Like so many, sad at the state of the world.

 

This was my secret statement.

Hugs

There’s no smirk on your face,
I can see your lament,
I hear voices that mock,
No time to repent.
Iv said im rueful, cant you see.
There’s just nothing left for you and me,
Im walking a boulevard that has No End,
Iv Lost My way And Am Scared to Death.
The Crying is Over And Realisation hits home,
Were walking our own paths, were Really Alone.
But ill still hold your hand, when the night is cold,
If u need someone hug, im quite Good im Told.
I Do Love you I promise.
Its Just Too Dark To See,
That Loves A Lie, Our Dreams Are Broken,
And You’re Just To Good For Me.

 

Edward Ramsden

5/5/2006

 

Guess what this one is about. I used letters instead of words at this point in my poetry.

For example."If u need someone to hug"

A Reason

I’m 21 For Fucks Sake,

I don’t know what to be,

I’m Just wandering the country looking for an answer,

knowing it wont come to me,

People Say Don’t Worry,

You Create Your Soul Over Time,

Just Relax and watch The Clouds Go By

And Everything Will Be Fine.

The Clouds are all the same now,

 I recognise every one,

I Can tell you The Meaning Of Life For Sure,

But Not Where It Begun.

I Can Sooth Aching Muscles

And Make Other People Laugh,

I’m Not A Comedian, I have To Many Flaws

But wouldn’t stop if given the chance.

Iv tried the drugs and swallowed the following hours

From drop to line to toke,

From Everyday Spent With perfect company

Still Laughing at the same old jokes.

Nothings the same, I wish I could stop,

This line is so god damb long,

I just hope that one day some will give me name.

And a reason to hang on.

Edward Ramsden

 

21/07/2006

 Another failed attempt and life and love

3 Am

The Voices Dont Help,
 They make things worse,
 this martini im drinking,
 is no longer a savour, but a curse,
 the lights are low and im barley visable,
 looking for something to make me feel incredable,
 find printed type, black then white,
 sometimes this addictive habit keeps me awake all night,
 this girl im thinking off couldnt be further away,
 in mind not body, yet neither memory or thought will stay,
 cant help but feel rythem in the screen light,
 keep dancing where no one can see, hoping that it feels right,
 lost in my own direction, trying to get my head together,
 cant make up my mind about how i am and or if or never,

 

Edward Ramsden

Wrote this at 3am one sad night.
 15.8.2006

One Way

A one-way battle of epic proportions,
Like the lonely performer, lost in contortion,
We break and scuffle, to please humankind,
But bring to a standstill what we left behind,
 We walk forward but cant recall,
What was once is now no more,
So if I give you a reason to hang on,
Then please stay, I wont be long.


Edward (Shoes) Ramsden

I Like This But Not The Ending

Happy Halesworth Poem

The trouble-free Incandescent Glow Of The Sun,

Alluringly Blinds Me In The Summers Heat.

The River Echoes In The Background of my mind,

Making Me Aware Of The Simple Beauty Of Life.

something innate That holds So Much Mystery.

The breeze Is Soft and tender On Fresh Face,

And For The moment I Forget It Even Exists.

Friends Talks Around Me And Play Fight On The Velvet Grass,

Every One Of Them Has A Story To Tell And A Song To Sing.

Time Has Stopped In Its Tracks And I Regret Nothing.

All I Feel Is Appreciation For Everything,

For The Season,

For The Company,

For the open minds that Keep Me Feeling Alive.

Relaxed, I bathe in the warmth of Polaris And Diana,

I take one More Glance At The content and educated,

And with a Final Breath I Fall Back Into My Mind.

Forever Grateful To The World That Received So Little,

And Gave So Much…

Edward Ramsden

20/9/2006

 

 

Wrote this lying on the grass in the park in Halesworth.

Surrounded by amazing people who were amazing freinds

 

This poem makes me miss them a lot.

Seluj

How Can i have nothing to say,
when the lights envoke emotion,
when stars seem to Scream to speak no inhibitions,
and the wind whispers soft insanity.
should i push the social boundries to move the walls of progress
i leave a few a moments to catch my breath, and wonder why im blank
iv spent years devising a perfect plan and making the world seem nicer,
laid under the moon and closed eyes till slumber,
but it all seems usless now.
one txt could settle an ancient score and even change whats to be,
or do i sit here alone with the world on my back, just wondering whats wrong with me.

 

Edward Ramsden

 

Wrote this a long time ago, about someone amazing who helped me find my way in life without ever knowing.

____________________

She’s stirring to the thrashing, Of a Very divergent Drum,

She’s Sitting On The perspective, Wondering When the Dawn Will Come,

She welcomes and absconds, but in the Silence Sheds a Tear,

So much potential she cannot fail, No Minute to spend on fear

Escaping to Her dream terrain that changes every year.

A few would label her Siren, splendor beyond credence,

But those who know the Truth keep a powerful Defense.

She is in word a flower, one that you wouldn’t overlook,

Building this world that little bit nicer, as we get hastily overtook.

I wouldn’t say she’s perfect, as that removes the feeling of progress,

But she’s fuel for the soul, and she’ll Stop and revive your breath.

 

Edward Ramsden

 

I wrote this about a girl called Dawn.

She was amazing.

 

 

I Called it __________ Because I didnt want people to know who it was written for.

I Often write poems about and for people but never give them away.

The Long Road home

Iv Walked For many Years In Self Pity And Despair

The Light from Polaris Shines Bright To Me,

But Seems To Lead Me Nowhere,

The Ground I walk Looks Dark As I regress,

To The Past That Seems To Me No Less,

Than Memories of the Ones I Have Left,

The Sand Moves In the Wind and the Shadows Whisper,

Calling Her Name As I Move Nearer,

A Light Comes From the North and a Smile Crosses My Face,

Maybe the Reason I Was Pursuing the Light,

Was It in Fact The Love Of Her Grace?

Caution Is Swept Away Like the Weed In The Sea

The Answers To the questions come Quickly, But Still Seem Dark To Me

I Stop And wait A Second More,

So That I Do Not Break My Stride,

And Hopefully All the Pain She Felt Would evaporate inside,

er Shadow Is Not Constant and I Will Not Step the Mark

The Boundaries That Will Certainly Wound and Even Break a Heart,

I Stand Away and Still I Hold Her,

So Physical To Touch,

That Soul’s Reliant on the Comforting Embrace

I Wouldn’t Miss That Much,

For what we Share Is So Much More

That The Lovers Guiding Will,

Our Embrace Is So Delicate and Elegant,

That Time Itself Stands Still,

Now My Cape Covers Her,

To Shelters Her from the Storm

As We Sleep To Dream of Dreams Again,

And Be Together Once More.

 

Edward Ramsen

9/12/2005



 

Another story of unrequited love.

A common theme in my poetry.

 Maybe one day someone will suprise me and tell me they secretly love me.

Then maybe I can write a poem about that instead.

I've heard it does happen to some people.

 

 Just not me.

Natalie Johnson 2nd Final Draft

She’s snow in summer,
A welcome Surprise,
She’s the midnight Rain,
When forlorn stars hide,
She’s the aroma of the forest,
When oak trees bloom,
She’s a cottage in the country side,
A Home with a View.
She’s soft grass in the summer,
Where Daffodils Dance,
She’s moment of pleasure,
That lasts and lasts.
She’s A Rose in winter,
Too stunning for words.
She’s the whisper before bedtime,

That’s rarely heard.

 

Edward Ramsden

 

This is my second version.

I liked this one better but other people disagree.

Natalie Johnson

She’s snow in summer,
A welcome Surprise,
She’s the midnight Rain,
When forlorn stars hide,
She’s the aroma of the forest,
When oak trees bloom,
She’s a cottage in the country side,
A Home with a View.
She’s A Rose in winter,
Too stunning for words.
She’s the whisper before bedtime,
That’s rarely heard.

 

Edward Ramsden

 

This is really how I felt about her every day.

I dont think she ever read it.

Her

Her Poison Kiss seduces me And I Kneel to Prey,
Upon The Cold ground Where I Cry for her Name,
In Smiling I Make A Wall of Pain that is unbreakable To Her Eyes,
Her Piercing Shrieks Curse My Veins And Make Me Bleed Inside,
A Lock Of her Hair Is Kept Close To me And Breath Her In As Much As I Can
Before I Fall And Die in The Mud Which Makes Me A Bed For Deaths hand,
Sinking Down In Her Tormenting Scent That Stabs My Sinuses Like A Sharp Blade,
And wallow In The Mess That Over The Months Of Mistakes I Have Made,.
Lying That I Have No Regrets when In My Mind There Is A Million And One,
Hoping Every Sad Mistake Will Be erased By a happy One
But Still Her Image Is Like A Clear Windows That Fogs On A Sunny Day,
And Still I Wait For The Light Of The Evening Star To Wane The Sun Away,
And Through The Window Of The Soul Lies Raquia,
Where The Land Exists For The Spirits, The Gods, Me And Of Course her…

 

Edward Martin Ramsden

12/6/2008

I dated a beautiful gothic model called Clem.
I dont think she knew how to be happy.
She put herself outside society so much, I just wanted her to find a place of her own

This poem was and is for her.
She never read it.

HR

What can I say about human resources?
I don't  know much so let me list all my sources
I hear it's a place of great contemplation
A small but key aspect of business communication
In general a rather taciturn breed.
With pay checks and training and the things we all need.
But often unnoticed these work heroes are,
When the praise is sometimes shadowed by a rock or a star.
For without this small crew, things just would work.
Like the enterprise without a Picard or a Kirk
Sometimes life, it just isn't fair,
We all sometimes feel like nobody cares.
But In a small, charming office, in the bowels of the ship.
At the heart of the company, with the engine lit.
Helping everyone, who needs somewhere to be.
Sailing for its company on a wide accountacy.
Yet deep down we all know, That owe them a lot,
If you're familiar or new or just feel forgot.
It's a place of commitment and nothing's to small
A haven for the fallen, before and after the fall.

Writing to find a muse

Every day the morning sun,

Signals where I started from,

But moves are slow and hearts wont go,

Where all adventures stand strong

Lost will is hanging by a thread,

The sword of Damocles trims my head

To cut in half, i can but laugh,

As I long to join the ungrateful dead

The river Stixs consumed me,

Such story can i share with thee,

of moments in time, when life was fine,

And I could simply be

Such tracks are dusted from memories sake,

Paths now new adventures take,

to lands once old, now fresh and cold,

Till i find the morning sun is mine to retake.

   Edward Ramsden

14/03/13

A poor attempt at some form of medieval poetry.

Amazing Bob Marley Quote

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Wandering Poets and Lovers

I welcome lovers, poets come,

To thy table, dont feel out done,

The love we share, will nay compare,

To the freind that you will become.

Come drink my wine and share my bread,

till time it come to rest ye heads,

You journey tires, with whip and wire,

Oh sweet stranger share my bed.

No coffer do i need from you,

My ark is yours, for ye to use,

So share my home, till feet do roam,

Then know me freind until ye move.

The cock doth crow and ye depart,

To where all the adventrures are,

With carridge packed and with no map,

Thou treads beneath diana's star.

For many years have passed since this,

I often wonder where thou is.

Art thou alive on history side. 

Or Perished thus like morning mist.

Ill never know but keep thy door,

open to ye beck an call

To hurry back and dont lose track

Your love has stayed, peoms and all..

 

 

Medieval verse

Art though such a sight to see,

A riddle in a mysetry

Of fallen foes and angry woes,

Hidden for the world to see,

How doth one come to love you so,

When all hearts are flesh and bone,

kept alive through pain and strive

To live the harvest all alone.

If to carry on is nothing new,

My heart does linger in your room,

You dont see, that part of me.

That lives for more than sun and moon.

A river swept me far from you,

with little time for breathing room,

so i held my head, beneath the bed,

Till my water filled lungs balloned.

Dont take no heed of fallen foes,

the river swept them far from home

no tears for me, just leave me be

Im better as someone noone knows.

The sun has set, the harvests here

A villian gone, the world it cheers

that one more thing, to ruin spring,

Has vanished from out future years.

My first attempt at medieval verse poetry.

It really has no focus story, which Medieval verse is build around.
Ill work towards that, but for now I've got to install some more sweet mods on JC2.

EXTENDED GRAPPLE FOR THE WIN!

ghosts

don't stop, not even for breath,

don't stop working, when confronted by death,

its just too important to live and be at peace,

Why should i when i work and find my release,

but society glares, and wants you back,

this 2 way road becomes a one way track,

determination is what the world needs,

but whats to be determined about when it falls on its knees,

lifes to short for not wanting to play,

stuck in loop that repeats day to day,

one more scribble and the sun starts to cry,

determined fire from an already waning sky

Edward Ramsden

A taste of my depression when i was a teenager

Dawn

Sun Rise Over Smoke Stacks In The West,

Clever Rhymes And Torrid Rivers That Twist With Words,

I Cant Remember Where They Lie,

Your Fire Kept Burning, As The Coal We Used To Gather, Warmth Was As Important As The Sun In This Facade.

The Cold Outside Our Cave Never Seemed So Bitter,

One Step, Two Step, Tripping Over Soft Snow,

But Finding Only Hard Brittle Ground Where Daisies Lay,

In Between Cracks They Smile With No Face,

A Pattern Of Incredible Situations Brave To None,

Sitting Brings Nothing, Gathering Decides Importance

While The Sun Hides In between Stars.

The Wind Dies Slowly..

With A Tear it leaves and i Wonder...

Where Is Dawn?

I think I can tell you I love you,

But not in the way you might think.

Like in the way that the sun loves the moon at night,

I simply love that you exist.

Like the universal love that's felt,

The moment when the equinox rises,

Your smile that lights up like an arcade machine

When its handing out unlimited prizes.

I love your persistence and musical talent,

That the ignorant overlook.

Like the sound of the wind as it moves over water,

Or the first words in a old dusty book.

I love the adventure that some quickly dismiss,

Over fear of a better world.

To love and embrace the worry unknowing

Till our flag can been unfurled. 

The depth of your friendship means more to me

Than I think you can ever know,

For few have come this close to me and chosen not to go.

So i'm sorry for the sad times, i assure are in decline.

Its finally time to shrug old habits and dust off this overgrown mind.

 through all of this I wanted to remind you,

That I love you my dearest friend.

Till time comes to part us with beautiful sorrow 

Then until we meet again.

My Childhood Dream

your body tense as you make that desperate struggle your dream

To spread your wings

To fly, to touch the face of god

To feel the wind in your hair

As u swoop among the clouds

Free at last

To have no worries

To care not what the day brings

But to enjoy life 4 what it is

Not what we want 2 b

To dream of a home

Where ever the wind takes u

To be independent

To live in the moment

To care not of family and friends

But of a warm tree on a secluded hill

This is my dream

 

 

Kara

Your Not The One I saw Before
The One With The Angels Smile
You Are The One Who Comes To Destroy
Everything Iv Tried Not To Defile
Your The one Who Spreads The Lies
And takes What Iv Grown To Love
Please Bring Back The One That Iv Learnt To Admire
Or Arrange My Bed Up Above
Why Do You Come To Spoil My Day
When Iv Got So Many Wonderfull Dreams
All You Can Do Is Laugh In My Face
And Watch As my Spirits Heart Bleeds
But Iv had Enuf This Time My Foe
And At Last I Take The Floor
Its Finally Time To Send You To Shoel
And Hear You Scream " PLEASE NO MORE"

There She Is the One I Love
As She Rises From Fallen Veins
To Heal My Heart And Sooth The Soul
And Make Everything Seem..... Ok

 

13/5/2001

When I was 15 I met this welsh girl from Carmarthen on the internet
Her name was Kara.

For a little while I though I had a crush on her.
Seems stupid but at that point it felt so strange to feel attracted to someone that I let myself get carried away.

Jamie

Hear I sit once more,

Alone in my dark flat,

Not a soul to speak to,

Not an god to pray to,

Just me and my thoughts,

Of past and present and of future life,

Of how I try and re-correct everything,

I fail,

For I know that Once A Ship Has Sailed,

It Shall No Longer Come to Port,

Lost in my mind,

Again another twisted reality,

Again another battered Heart,

I tried everything.,

Alas the Beating Body of the Soul Cannot Be Found,

No Remorse, No Forgiveness, No Release,

The past Gives Pain Not Pleasure,

If only there were Some Way to Take It Back,

Yet no…IM Stuck,

And With me lies The Pain of One Thousand heartaches,

IM Sorry. IM Sooo Sooo Sorry.

22/09/2004

Dict

My name is Dictionary boy,

I dont feel well.

I'm scared of things.

I'm afraid of making freinds.

I'm scared of being loved.

When some tell me I love too much.

Locked doors are ok with me.

Drinking doesnt help,

Cannabis does its job.

Pills are a stupid idea.

I worry about losing people a lot.

I lose a lot more people than I can worry about

I'm lonley when I'm with other people

Occasionaly I am happy,

But those moments are rare.

Some tell me I have to change,

Some tell me never change.

I say leave me be, but they never do.

 

My name is Dictionary boy

And I still dont feel well.

Why be me?

Everyone tells me,

Everything is all right.

Thats things will be fine

and will change over night.

Not one of them gets it,

Why should they so,

Their not in my prison,

With 10/20 to go.

I wont share my problems

You say there okay,

As if saying that makes a differance

or changes the way.

I feel on the inside,

Ill keep it locked up,

So you dont get the whole of me,

Just a small touch.

I hide from you because its a right decision

For no one wants to be alone

So when beautiful sadness is what makes up my heart.

Its one that you'll never know.

 

So everything is fine, I say to your ear but I've never hidden the truth

That just below this broken surface is something that hides from everyone, not just from you.

 

Edward Ramsden

 

 

This is my most recent poem and one that makes me sad, but its ok.
This is how I feel right now, I hope i can make something of it soon,

 

Its will always be ok,

New Generation no.14

The Words Stick Like Toffee in summer,
The telephone face Seems Tough to Turn as the Number You call Disappear,
With one tiny Click your back In the Room, but it’s strangely dissimilar now.
Something distorted The Moment You Were Away, So Subtle But ever So Loud.
A Shake of The Head And A Moment Free, Spent Wisely Just Wishing this wasnt to be.
Light Seems to want to run away, the shadows all promise to Hang around Smiling, Miserable, Murky Grey,
Lets Call this our winter,
The bitter frost makes for a perfect reflection of us.
I miss it, I will dream of it, and I won’t stop remembering it…
The graves we pass are instants we commit to memory.
Disparaged by the look away you seemed to look forward to.
Don’t look away any more,
The Need is no longer in attendance,
As bravery takes over and the world seems a scary limitless road.

New generation No 2

Its a road that seems to represent a hill in Time,
Steep Drop Highway without the Difficult Climb,
And Now the Dust Kicks Into Bitter Sunshine,
Holding Back Lyrical Emotions, Divided By an Almost Morbid Guideline.
You Know, I Can’t Remember Where I Was Before We Met?
Living For Small Moments of Clarity and Occasional Begging For Respect,
Like the Tree that grew from a burnt out seed, Or The Rose in Winter Trying To breath.
Every Moving Picture along the following months has been of you smiling,
Trying hard to stumble so I don’t miss any glimpse of your heart before it started dividing.
I've Camped 3 days and now the road seems to be wider,
I’m losing the comfort of the warmth I felt lying beside her.
And like my heart I decide to keep from breaking,
Give anything to stop this fragile soul for the future I have to start making.
And It’s a bitch trying to save,
From losing your grip and carving that stone over your grave

 

Edward Ramsden

 

25/2/2008

New generation no 1

Some times a loose collection of memories can find there similarities,
And recreate a moment of simple enchantment,
That moment when something you remember makes you want to smile,
But for some reason you resist.
When the four months to come are beginning to become sad,
Its journey twists and fills the holes, as if taking its time,
If only Time was never there to begin with.
A song that you heard a million times changes in your mind, to a orchestra that seems to play the most beautiful sound in the world, as if to mock the memories that lie deep within the almost childlike complications of the lyrics you love.
Every syllable turns into a tear that clings to your cheek,
Resisting being apart from its Brothers and sisters,
Who in reality are every dream thought and emotions you have ever felt.
I know if the truth becomes apparent them I wont be the person I was back then,
People will leave, people will stand by, but everyone will go eventually,
That’s just the way it is…….

 Edward Ramsden
19 October 2007

From the new generation

Have you ever felt the fall before the storm?
The gut wrenching feeling that everything’s wrong.
When time is its own leader and we can but follow,
Your saliva is thick and too much to swallow
Stopped in emotional lay-by with a one distant stare,
The obvious is obvious to those who aren’t there.
Every light we click seems to dim,
Mimicking the desire to jump ship and swim.
While the party persistent,
The ones who won’t leave,
Are scared of normality and having to breathe,
Were the lost in the gap
The hidden and discrete,
Scared of social interaction and the reality of become obsolete
Tucked away in our own decaying world,
A locked door for comfort and no one speaks a word.

 

23/2/2008

New Generation no -1

            Why do I push when my dream is to keep?

               Why cant I cure this insatialble sleep?

     Why cant I accept change and enjoy its suprise?

        Why keep searching for where the answer lies?

     Why must my poems be formulaic in verse?

Why must I be a sickly man child, whos feels at his worst?

Why in my darkest moments, do I find blessed relief?

From hurting my surroundings with a faltering belief.

Why dont pills make the world make sense?

Its confusing and scary and never willing to relent.

Why must I love so?

When the pain is just too much?

 

Why is it that the cure to all my darkest woes, can only be found in your touch?

2/3/2008

Why Cant I Sleep

Kept insane by a voice that wills it so,

Keeping butterfly's ever ready to perform in a one man show,

Sleeping underneath the stars every night looking for a sign to keep moving,

Walking down the same deserted roads, in a mind that i keep losing.

Slow and steady wins the race, a extortionists battle in keeping faith.

Keep on crying hidden by the rain,

Keep on trying over and over again,

Stop and think, does the influence care,

Is Keeping Trying More Emotional Baggage to wear,

Im soft and lonely just wanting some peace,

in a world with no borders, why cant i sleep

Edward Ramsden

Sunshine after the rain...

Sunshine after the rain...

Malleable, delectable and clouded with mystery,

Reminiscing about butterfly's, from the first time you kissed me,

In reality I'm just a puzzle that has no corners,

An incomplete mystery with nothing but broken borders.

How long must sitting be the answer?

Listening to the sound of clouds and swaying to the music of the moonlight dancer,

She keeps her rhythm and doesn't ask for anything,

Feeling compassion from the soul in everything,

I wake everyday in a bed dressed in everything I own,

Happy that life sometimes resembles a sinking stone,

No air, no resistance just darkness that comforts,

Dreaming screaming into a world of eternal sunsets.

Words become predictable in this facade we call a society,

Screaming from rooftops with articulate, drunken sobriety.

Were the next waves of the future of tomorrow?

Hoping to recreate a world we know wont become dead through bad choices, and extremities of sorrow.

Yet in the smoke and debris sits the answer we miss,

And not far lies a boy who dreams of her kiss.

E.M.R

X

The Death and Return of Dictionary Boy

He exists purely, to make others believe,

In what... he is not sure, but he feels his mission is right.

He knows what's to come, he wrote the next page,

He's Seems to be weary but willing to succumb to fate,

After all this time his capability to write has finally gone.

Nothing exists for him anymore.

He walks to the sea and stares for 3 days,

Till that last of the memories that keep his soul smile and walk away.

He Sits In the Sand on Fair Calabrian Shore,

Hoping for a sign that there will be one more,

He has composed his last work made up from newspaper clippings and old recycled poems,

Clenched tight in his hand an un opened letter the world that no one has known,

He drifts now alone, Through the Sea And Current Wind,

Watching The Destruction Of Dictionary Boy Begin 

Then with a final smile lets the water take his life,

Floating Through the ocean like butter Through A Knife.

As he Disappears And The Salt Dissolves,

The Letter he held becomes Sodden and old,

He finished the last verse with something quite odd,

About heaven, about hell and to wonder about god,

And with a final note says how much he's had fun,

And how he wishes that the hero didn't die in this one.

Edward Ramsden

Dedicated to Tilly.

You might hate me but Ill never hate you.

I miss you sometimes.

Winay Trato

She Kept the gate open,

its squeak kept her alert,

she dances round the kitchen twice,

until her ankles hurt.

She Kept an old  photo,

its corners turning brown.

she sits and watches the fire place,

an elegant carpeted ground.

She kept the tears

they wouldn't leave,

she kept the letter,

they helped her grieve.

She kept hoping,

for him to return,

She Kept Wishing

Shell never learn.

                                                                    Edward ramsden

To An Empty World and The Girl I Loved

There's no one left to wander here,

My words just gather dust,

Etched in black and white for ever,

Instilled with loving trust,

That I gave to her with out condition,

While Knowing in my heart,

That words can teach, inspire and love.

But never stop us being apart.

Its been so long i cant describe,

How these words have left my mind,

With reckless abandon i forgot their power,

and left them all behind.

Then out of nowhere she spoke to me,

Words I had once forgot,

That affection, affliction and once waxing passion,

Seem nothing to times vacant lot.

I wish with all strength that fate was much kinder,

And id have my chance to say,

I wanted to kiss my desire onto the face of my love,

and make all the sadness go away.

I once loved a girl who i'd never met,

And over time she quickly grew up,

To be the beautiful person i loved for so long,

and i missed my chance. Just my luck.

We will always have the Love Boat and the beautiful time when we were together.

We Stood for everyone who ever loved someone that they could never have.

The Ghost of my Muse

Do you ever contemplate of me, when you are alone?....

Do you select to think of me, over thoughts closer to home?....

Do you ever wonder how my embrace would linger on your lips?....

Do you ever pretend that we once shared, loves exciting kiss?....

Could you ever really love me? I understand why not!....

Do you ever want me? When I am often forgot.....

Every answer is a negative, I am juxtapose....

Who loves you from his head to frozen hobbit toes?....

Who does think of you taste when you are not around?....

Who wonders if the key to your soul might be found....

Who knows that love between us, won't even exist in myth.....

Who knows you love another who will never appreciate your gift.....

So who watches you from afar and loves you more that words....

Who can tell his story of plight, not even to the birds?....

Edward Ramsden

Keep moving forward Ed, Keep moving forward.

Dictionary boy 3 My final stand

GET UP NOW!....

Dust yourself off dictionary boy.....

Get the sand from your hair and the water off your chest.....

Your pages are hard to read and they no longer make sense.....

You're scripts in ink that's no longer spoken....

Those who loved you have all gone.....

It's cold and alone and you miss everyone behind you,....

You keep replaying the same moments in your head,....

Unable to change a thing!....

But you're a new generation dictionary boy!....

Newly Reborn like every who,....

You never once knew how to be truly happy yourself,....

You always tried to make people happier.....

We can tell in your eyes you won't change these facts.....

Are we doomed dictionary boy?....

Did we wake just to desire sleep again?....

If everyone you ever loved was here right now, would it make you happy?....

Or would you turn straight around and walk back into the sea?....

The same sea that claimed so much of your spirit and hope,....

Take heed Dictionary boy, this world is not meant for you.....

It is meant for the talented and the brave,....

For the loved and the loving,....

For the given and the giving.....

This world is not intended for an old book that no one can read.....

So take heed dictionary boy,....

One footnote at a time,....

For those those you love will never love you back,....

You're an old novel, born a thousand years late,....

To a world that never really cared.

Keep trying dictionary boy, Keep trying for us!

Your Something

• I wanted to write you something,....

  To make you feel unique,....

  To show you exactly how you improve the world.....

  Every time you speak.....

  I know now that I don't need to write,....

  You know how good you are,....

  You're aware of your beauty and what you want in life,....

  Exactly where to travel and how far.....

  I was under the false impression that I had helped you out a bit.....

  But be honest I've done nil.....

  If I left I would be replaced instantly.....

  No hole from me to fill.....

  You know you're awesome, you know you're great.....

  I don't need to inflate your ego.....

  How stupid I feel for attempting to help you,....

  When you obviously already know.....

  I wish you could have told me, how useless I have been.....

  And now I hang my head.....

  Why give it to someone as perfect as you....

  And replace someone who needs it instead.....

  
  

  Edward Ramsden

  
  

  This one is sad, there is nothing more to say than its Sad.

  It Probably speaks more to me nowadays then ever before.

Who are you? Do you even know?

Who are you to stop my chest,

Mid beat and with one breath left.

Who are you to feel bereft

When my loves intention can scare off death.

Who are you to make sun shine,

Who am I to fall behind,

To fall in love and then unwind,

With solutions and confusions bound to Bind.

Who are you to be in my reach.

Of every wall but the one love breached

To lose my throne and be beseech-ed,

While I kiss the ground beneath your feet.

Who are you to feel contempt.

Expressions as pointless as the liar intent.

To guard you from hurt is the hero lament.

When all seems lost and hope is spent.

Who are you to live alone,

Wishes telling you to come back home.

Chances are I wont sit by your throne.

What heroes and jesters can call there own.

Instead Ill love you from the poor side of town.

Where riches are fiction and Love can be found,

Where money is second to the power of the renown

And I can love you forever without making a sound.

Edward Ramsden

I like this poem, Don't tell anyone though.

They will all just think i'm arrogant and up myself.