ghosts

don't stop, not even for breath,

don't stop working, when confronted by death,

its just too important to live and be at peace,

Why should i when i work and find my release,

but society glares, and wants you back,

this 2 way road becomes a one way track,

determination is what the world needs,

but whats to be determined about when it falls on its knees,

lifes to short for not wanting to play,

stuck in loop that repeats day to day,

one more scribble and the sun starts to cry,

determined fire from an already waning sky

Edward Ramsden

A taste of my depression when i was a teenager

Dawn

Sun Rise Over Smoke Stacks In The West,

Clever Rhymes And Torrid Rivers That Twist With Words,

I Cant Remember Where They Lie,

Your Fire Kept Burning, As The Coal We Used To Gather, Warmth Was As Important As The Sun In This Facade.

The Cold Outside Our Cave Never Seemed So Bitter,

One Step, Two Step, Tripping Over Soft Snow,

But Finding Only Hard Brittle Ground Where Daisies Lay,

In Between Cracks They Smile With No Face,

A Pattern Of Incredible Situations Brave To None,

Sitting Brings Nothing, Gathering Decides Importance

While The Sun Hides In between Stars.

The Wind Dies Slowly..

With A Tear it leaves and i Wonder...

Where Is Dawn?

I think I can tell you I love you,

But not in the way you might think.

Like in the way that the sun loves the moon at night,

I simply love that you exist.

Like the universal love that's felt,

The moment when the equinox rises,

Your smile that lights up like an arcade machine

When its handing out unlimited prizes.

I love your persistence and musical talent,

That the ignorant overlook.

Like the sound of the wind as it moves over water,

Or the first words in a old dusty book.

I love the adventure that some quickly dismiss,

Over fear of a better world.

To love and embrace the worry unknowing

Till our flag can been unfurled. 

The depth of your friendship means more to me

Than I think you can ever know,

For few have come this close to me and chosen not to go.

So i'm sorry for the sad times, i assure are in decline.

Its finally time to shrug old habits and dust off this overgrown mind.

 through all of this I wanted to remind you,

That I love you my dearest friend.

Till time comes to part us with beautiful sorrow 

Then until we meet again.

My Childhood Dream

your body tense as you make that desperate struggle your dream

To spread your wings

To fly, to touch the face of god

To feel the wind in your hair

As u swoop among the clouds

Free at last

To have no worries

To care not what the day brings

But to enjoy life 4 what it is

Not what we want 2 b

To dream of a home

Where ever the wind takes u

To be independent

To live in the moment

To care not of family and friends

But of a warm tree on a secluded hill

This is my dream

 

 

Kara

Your Not The One I saw Before
The One With The Angels Smile
You Are The One Who Comes To Destroy
Everything Iv Tried Not To Defile
Your The one Who Spreads The Lies
And takes What Iv Grown To Love
Please Bring Back The One That Iv Learnt To Admire
Or Arrange My Bed Up Above
Why Do You Come To Spoil My Day
When Iv Got So Many Wonderfull Dreams
All You Can Do Is Laugh In My Face
And Watch As my Spirits Heart Bleeds
But Iv had Enuf This Time My Foe
And At Last I Take The Floor
Its Finally Time To Send You To Shoel
And Hear You Scream " PLEASE NO MORE"

There She Is the One I Love
As She Rises From Fallen Veins
To Heal My Heart And Sooth The Soul
And Make Everything Seem..... Ok

 

13/5/2001

When I was 15 I met this welsh girl from Carmarthen on the internet
Her name was Kara.

For a little while I though I had a crush on her.
Seems stupid but at that point it felt so strange to feel attracted to someone that I let myself get carried away.

Jamie

Hear I sit once more,

Alone in my dark flat,

Not a soul to speak to,

Not an god to pray to,

Just me and my thoughts,

Of past and present and of future life,

Of how I try and re-correct everything,

I fail,

For I know that Once A Ship Has Sailed,

It Shall No Longer Come to Port,

Lost in my mind,

Again another twisted reality,

Again another battered Heart,

I tried everything.,

Alas the Beating Body of the Soul Cannot Be Found,

No Remorse, No Forgiveness, No Release,

The past Gives Pain Not Pleasure,

If only there were Some Way to Take It Back,

Yet no…IM Stuck,

And With me lies The Pain of One Thousand heartaches,

IM Sorry. IM Sooo Sooo Sorry.

22/09/2004

Dict

My name is Dictionary boy,

I dont feel well.

I'm scared of things.

I'm afraid of making freinds.

I'm scared of being loved.

When some tell me I love too much.

Locked doors are ok with me.

Drinking doesnt help,

Cannabis does its job.

Pills are a stupid idea.

I worry about losing people a lot.

I lose a lot more people than I can worry about

I'm lonley when I'm with other people

Occasionaly I am happy,

But those moments are rare.

Some tell me I have to change,

Some tell me never change.

I say leave me be, but they never do.

 

My name is Dictionary boy

And I still dont feel well.